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22 February 2007 @ 12:23 pm
Still getting hits here for my ahem more political musings. The correct page is http://freedomofphiladelphia.com  I will only rarely write here and if I do it's of a more personal nature. The other rants and raves are over at the "new" site.
12 August 2006 @ 12:10 pm
Don't read any of the below, it's just me bitching and moaning about my life. Stuff I needed to write down to straighten my head a bit.

Yeah I haven't written anything here in a long time, been busy with my web page, talking politics and the world. Jousting at windmills there trying to get anyone to see some of the crazy shit that's going on in the world and connect the dots. While I was doing all that, I didn't notice my marriage was falling apart. Oh there was no fighting or yelling and the sex was great but she wasn't happy. She never told me till it was too late. Sure I paid attention to her, but she watched tv alot in the bedroom, and I out in the living room. always went in every 10-15 minutes and spent some time talking to her but never caught on to how big the problem was. Think I figured since my love for her was so great that I could push any problems aside her's was too. Dont get me wrong, I think she loves me, used to say I knew but right now that confidence is kind of weak. Hell, everything is kind of weak right now, my relationship with my son, finances, emotions and even the san andreas fault. Yeah I made a joke, it's all I can do at this moment is to try and be strong, find humour in things to keep my sanity.
Because. I. Just. Cant.Get.My.Arms.Around.This.Shit. See my wife and I have been through a lot over the last 13 years. Neither one of us were good spouses in the early years. I was a self centered prick at times, she cheated on me at times. I guess I cheated on her too, see we had a 3some with a friend of hers a few times and I fucked that girl in our bed without her once, she took it bad. Cause that girl has always wanted us to break up. We separated and got back together a year later (it was our second separation).
The last 10 years things have been pretty good, put a strain on the marriage when I went to Cali for work for 5 months. The intent was to move the whole family out there but a bankruptcy my wife had filed when we were separated made it too hard to sell the house since it wasn't paid off. Went through holy hell while I was out there, slept on the floor or an air mattress...lived in a unfurnished apartment..all I had was a bunch of different air mattresses (those things never last long), a tv, dreamcast, and a laptop. That was pretty much it. I felt so alone and I knew things were tough back home, but it was tough out there. Was doing it for the family, this was a chance to run the state of Cali for my company and make a name for myself. Things didn't work out, I ruined my career trying to get back home. When I was back I started finding things out about what she was doing when I was gone. I forgave her for it all. Blamed myself for it all happening since I wasn't here to give her the love she needed. Always carried that blame inside me, it's something I'm good at. Always say I have big shoulders.

Things were going good for awhile, then her friend, the one I slept with, started having big emotional and marriage problems, well I guess she's always had emotional problems. She tried to committ suicide over her marriage situation and took a lot of pills. I had been emailing back and forth that night with her, knew something was wrong. My wife sent me over to check...I pretty much had to shove her husband out of the way and pick her up and carry her to the car and take her to the hospital. He thought she was sleepy and ignored all the pills all over the place because, well he's a dumbass. She spent several days in/out of it before they were able to get all the drugs out of her system  and save her. During that time, my wife said she wanted her to move in with us, so we could help her help herself. Remember this was the woman that was instrumental in our separation and who always wanted us to break up. My wife still wanted her in our home, she's that caring of a woman. I did it, knew it would be bad but I did it. Can't say no to my wife when she really wants something. The plot thickens though, this friend had 2 kids to come with her. We have a SMALL house, 2 bedrooms and an unfinished basement. Luckily I had just cashed a lot of stock options out and was sitting on a good bit of money. The plan was for me to take some time off, spend it with the family and work around the house before finding another job. See I've always been bad at taking time off, felt that I needed to work to make sure everything was going to be ok financially because my wife never really made any significant money working. I was cool with that, wanted her home all the time to be a full time mom. So anyway, back to my tale of woe, used that money to pay off wifes bankruptcy, and finish a room in the basement for her friend (Red from now on) and her daughter. Bought bunk beds for my son and Red's son. Tried to make it work out and straighten out the financial mess Red was in. Didn't take any money from Red, wanted her to pay down her bills and focus on her kids and getting the money to move out. Of course, the 3somes started happening again. This put so much pressure back on the marriage, think my wife was afraid I would leave her for red because of how hard I was focusing on red to try and fix her. She never understood that I only wanted to straighten red out because it was important to the most important person in my life that it happened. When I focus on doing something, I FOCUS. Always tried to explain to wife that, I would never ever leave her, that I wanted to be with her till I died. Used to quote that silly willie the pooh line. Goes something like this. "If you live to be 100, I want to live to be a 100 minus 1 day so I never have to spend a day without you". Whenever I was sentimental, which wasn't often, I think she would think it was an act, but I meant it. fuck me but I still do and always will. So anyways, Red was doing her old tricks, playing mind games, fucking around, drinking, trying to commit suicide again, and even drugs at times. Lying all the way. At one point I dragged her  down to the psych ward and signed the papers to commit her. That was hard, see I cared for Red, not in the way I do about my Wife, but still I cared. Cried my eyes out that night, my kid brother, whom had never seen me cry helped me committ her so I know it was tough on him too. Came home wanted nothing more then to cry my eyes out, Wife started doing the same. So I sucked it up and stopped to comfort her. I always put my pain secondary to hers, maybe I shouldn't of, but when you love someone that much you do whatever you can to make that person happy, to relieve their pain, to make them smile. Red got out a few weeks later...back in the house. Things were tough. Red kept lying, it was killing my wife and my marriage. so I threw Red out.  Red kept trying to talk, smooth things over. She would say one thing to my wife, another to me, and yet another to my sister. Oh did I mention that during all this shit my sister moved in too, she needed to be closer to school and well she needed to be around a father figure because our father is a raging drunk who cares more about booze then his kids. So anyways I had to cut red off from me. Totally. See I'm a recovering drug user and alcoholic. Been clean off drugs since 89/90. Booze has been way under control for almost as long. One of the things you learn when you are recovering is to cut off/eliminate/remove yourself from things that tempt you or cause problems. Now they really mean drugs/booze and people who make you do them. Unfortunately I always took that too far. I cut Red off totally from me. Wife could still talk, sister could still talk but I was out of it. Knew she would use the access to me to cause problems with my wife and I and it wasn't worth it. Things got better I thought.

Last few years, I've gotten a great job that I'm really good at and a company that appreciates ME, not just my results.Wife has gotten a job she really likes, and makes decent money at it. Our money problems aren't 100% gone but are better. Got suprised by an over 10k bill from a hospital that should of been in the bankruptcy but wasn't. Lawyer messed up, wife never caught it in the paperwork (she did all the filing, I just paid). I was good though, was upset, thought I had that stuff taken care of but dammit if it still couldn't bite me. NEVER said a bad word to my Wife about it. Blamed the lawyer, tried to work it out. Things were good I thought. Then a week ago my wife wanted to talk. she said she wasn't happy, wanted to separate, I asked about counseling, she said she didn't believe in it, said why get separated then, and she said she wanted a divorce. Yeah bad move on my part, should of stuck with the separation to try and work things out.  Asked why, got a lot of reasons, I never shared my emotions, never wanted a 2nd child, wasn't close to her family, she felt invisible, she's never lived on her own, she didn't know who she was. All valid things, all invalid things. She's right on some, not as right on others but I thought we could of worked through almost all of them.Problem is we are dealing with emotions, they are always valid/invalid depending on your perspective. We've talked alot the last week. I've shared alot, was always willing to, but needed to be asked to share. Begged her not to leave, to let us try and work it out together. She feels she needs to find herself, and to proove that she can make it on her own.That hurts because all I've ever wanted to do was take care of her. Even wrote my will out in such a way that if I died tomorrow she had everything set up on what to do for her and our son to be ok. Weds we told our son. He's broken. I don't know how to fix it. That's hard, I could always fix anything, so many people come to me to help me fix situations...this I can't fix. It hurts. We had a plan on what we were going to say, how we were going to try to explain it to him together. I started the conversation, she froze. For a little bit, I thought he was going to hit me. Was going to let him, he needs to blame someone, I don't want him blaming himself, and I can't let him blame her. I've got big shoulders. That's what a Dad does, he takes the bullet for the family. Protects, cares, provides, carries when the rest are weak. Dad's have to have big shoulders. My wife got better that night at talking to him, she's stronger then I give her credit for at times. That was good, he thinks she walks on water and can cure the sick. He thinks I'm always right, but he knows Mom is always perfect.  He's a little better right now don't think he's blaming me as much, but he's trying not to think about it. Going to a counselor next week, talk to him about our son, and me, and her to see if an unbiased professional thinks my son should have his own sessions. If he thinks so, don't know how I will pay for it and everything in the house and give my wife support but I will even if I have to get a part time job. Big shoulders.

My wife moved out on Thursday night, she waited till he was in bed to leave so he wouldn't have to see her go. She's might be getting an apartment today depending on the credit check. Her parents will help her out with some money for the deposit. Their good people, I should of been closer to them, though at times I blame them for enabling her to do this. But she's their daughter, they have to have big shoulders for her.  We're talking still. She's waiting for me to be a prick like I was early in our marriage. Trying hard not to be. I've grown up, the shoulders have gotten bigger. Going to let her try and find herself, prove that she can make it on her own. She doesn't need to prove that to anyone but her, but she needs to feel that confidence. Trying to be patient. Want her to be ok. She will be. She's strong enough to do this, I know that, she needs to know it. Hoping after she realizes that she will come home. Will wait for her.

 I'm scared. Scared she won't come back, scared my son will have trust issues with women (god knows I did/do after my parents divorce), scared she will ask to comeback and I won't be able to trust her, Scared that she will ask to comeback and I will trust her only to go through this again, scared she will find that her happiness doesn't include me. Scared my son will hate me, scared that I will lose the house, my son's only home he's known. I look in the mirror and I say these fears outloud, try to remove their power by giving them a voice. some times it works, some times it doesnt. It has to. I'll make everything work, somehow. There is no choice, my son needs me to. He needs me to have big shoulders.
28 May 2006 @ 07:00 pm
Now blogging over here

Freedom of Philadelphia

More custome functionality there, so that's where I am for now.
26 May 2006 @ 08:28 pm
Ok today while surfing around I came across this interesting op-ed piece.


Now the person starting all this hoopla is a person by the name of Karen Todorov who said in an email to Michigan teachers

"I have promised teachers that we would delete the use of American [when we are really ONLY referring to the United States] from the GLCEs (grade level content expectations) so that everything is consistent and correct as soon as it was feasible."

So of course you're thinking, who cares what Molly McMoonbeam says? However, Todorov is not just any tinfoil hat wearing moonbeam but rather a member of http://www.civicsinstitute.org/about/history.html which is the group really deciding the social studies program in Michigan.

Here you have her trying to backpedal on her comments: http://www.wjr.com/Article.asp?id=221803&spid=6525

Now I don't know about anyone else, but I refer to myself as an American and I think that if someone referred to an "american" in another country they would presume that the person being talked about was from the USA, not Cuba/Bolivia/Canada etc! What we've got here is yet another ivory tower assault on the things that this country was built on. Isn't it a bit stupid to try to change 200+ years of recorded history, yet that attempt is going on as we speak and this is just one example of it (more to come in a later post on that). Chetly Zarko, a free lance investigative writer in Michigan had this to say Second, the adjective "America" need not be an "appropriation" of everything that that adjective represents. If Ms. Todorov would recall her grammar (and/or math/logic) classes, rather than university ethnocentrism classes, she would realize that is possible call a flower pretty without saying that all other flowers are by default not pretty. The fact that the vernacular term "America" has become shorthand for United States of America is not logically reflective of anything else. Should the noun "Americans" become "United Statesans"? It's obvious the reason for this shorthand was not ethnocentricism, but rather linguistic convenience.  http://chetlyzarko.com/b2evolution/

There is a strong sentiment of extreme liberalism, political over-correctness and outright socialism running through our school systems these days. For the last few decades it has been primarily focused on colleges across the nation, but those students have graduated and moved out into the world. Now it is starting to affect different school systems. It's a systematic approach to destroy the foundations of our country's origins.
  1. 1st weaken the elementary/primary education systems by restriction of things that can be taught there and releasing teachers/education system from any responsibility for the knowledge of the children taught.
  2. These kids graduate and come to college's basically with no ability for free thought or logic skills.
  3. Imprint on these kids an extreme brand/mix of socialism/liberalism. Imparting into them an almost guilt at being citizens of the most prosperous land in the world. Teach them that anything that is good for America is bad for the world and must be stopped. Tell them that their shortcomings aren't "their fault" but rather the fault of "the system" and then set them back out in the world.
  4. These students become the teachers/lawyers/politicians of tomorrow and will pervert the faiths and ideals the nation was built on further weakening the foundations of the nation.
  5. Repeat as needed.
 What are your children being taught?
Current Mood: pissed offpissed off
25 May 2006 @ 01:36 pm
Took this from: http://demint.senate.gov/index.cfm?FuseAction=PressReleases.Detail&PressRelease_id=380
My comments in blue


1. Rewards Illegal Behavior with Clear Path to Citizenship and Voting Rights – Amnesty

As noted by former Attorney General Ed Meese in the New York Times on May 24, 2006: “Like the amnesty bill of 1986, the current Senate proposal would place those who have resided illegally in the United States on a path to citizenship, provided they meet a similar set of conditions and pay a fine and back taxes. The illegal immigrant does not go to the back of the line but gets immediate legalized status, while law-abiding applicants wait in their home countries for years to even get here. And that's the line that counts. In the end, slight differences in process do not change the overriding fact that the 1986 law and today's bill are both amnesties.”
He's right, it's like saying "you broke the law, have a cookie and please don't do it again please"

2. Creates Temporary Worker Program That is Neither Temporary Nor Work-Based

The bill’s guest worker program would allow millions of illegal immigrants to qualify for permanent green cards within four years. Additionally, the Senate approved Senator Kennedy’s amendment that each year would allow up to 200,000 immigrants who cross the border illegally and work just 6 days a year (including self employment) to qualify for a permanent green card.

Great, 6 frigging days and they can get a permanent green card? 6 days? Ok if God made the world in 6 days of work we can give her a green card (yeah god's a woman, think about it) but 6 days of picking lettuce and you can stay here on a permanet basis is kind of crazy dontcha think?
3. Unprecedented Wave of Immigrants - 66 Million Over 20 Years

This bill is estimated to skyrocket the number of immigrants, from its current level of 19 million over the next 20 years, to an unprecedented number. Heritage Foundation: “...[O]ur estimate of the number of legal immigrants who would enter the country or would gain legal status under S. 2611 … [would be] 66 million over the next 20 years.”

You know that the number will be much much higher.
4. Insufficient Border Security

The Senate rejected an amendment by Senator Isakson that would have prohibited the implementation of any guest worker program that grants legal status to those who have entered the country illegally until the Secretary of Homeland Security has certified to the President and to the Congress that the border security provisions in the immigration legislation are fully funded and operational.

While the Senate adopted Senator Sessions’ amendment to increase “real fencing” by 370 miles and add 500 miles of vehicle barriers, the House passed a bill requiring at least 700 miles of “real fencing”, a more likely needed amount to secure the 2,000 mile long border.
Stong fences make good neighbors.

5. Terrorist Loophole Disarms Law Enforcement

Heritage Foundation reported May 24, 2006: “The Senate’s immigration reform proposal … would restrict local police to arresting aliens for criminal violations of immigration law only, not civil violations. The results would be disastrous. All of the hijackers on (9-11) who committed immigration violations committed civil violations. Under the bill, police officers would have no power to arrest such terrorists.”

Handcuffs should be on the criminals not on the cops!
6. Social Security Benefits, Tax Credits for Illegal Work

The Senate rejected Senator Ensign’s amendment that would have prevented Social Security benefits from being awarded to immigrants for time that they worked illegally in the United States. If the immigration compromise bill before the Senate were enacted into law, an estimated 12 million illegal workers would be able to use their past illegal work to qualify for Social Security benefits.

Provisions in S. 2611 would require newly legalized immigrants to file tax returns for work they performed while in the U.S. illegally. And while some would be required to pay back taxes, many others could qualify for the Earned Income Tax Credit, which has a maximum payout of $4,400 per year.

Here's another cookie, thanks for breaking our laws. Yeah lets reward illegal activity, whats next? Steal a car and get a tax break?
7. Costs Over $50 Billion A Year to Federal Government; States Foot The Bill for Immigrant Health Care

Robert Rector of the Heritage Foundation described the bill as a “fiscal catastrophe,” and has said the measure would prove to be the largest expansion of government welfare in 35 years. According to Rector, the bill would increase long-term federal spending by at least $50 billion a year.

The Senate bill does not reimburse state and local governments for health care and education costs related to the millions of undocumented immigrants. While the underlying bill creates a state impact assistance account for future temporary workers, it is an unfunded account.

Our current welfare system needs to be reduced not expanded. Bread and circuses anyone?
8. Hurts Small Business

The Senate approved an amendment by Senator Obama extending Davis-Bacon “prevailing wage” provisions for guest workers, but not American citizens, in all occupations covered by Davis-Bacon (currently limited to federally paid work). Small businesses would be forced to pay inflated wages to guest workers above the pay American citizens receive for performing the same work.

Look, I know we are a nation built on immigrants but do we have to treat law breaking people BETTER then we treat our own? I know that it says "guest worker" but remember this is referring to a majority of people who broke the law getting here and then already got rewarded with a "guest worker cookie".
9. Gives Some Immigrant Workers Greater Job Protection Than American Workers

As reported by Robert Novak of Chicago Sun Times on May 24, 2006: “The bill supposedly would protect American workers by ensuring that new immigrants would not take away jobs. However, the bill's definition of ‘United States worker’ includes temporary foreign guest workers, so the protection is meaningless… Foreign guest farm workers, admitted under the bill, cannot be ‘terminated from employment by any employer ... except for just cause.’ In contrast, American ag workers can be fired for any reason.”

This is crazy, sure you broke the law to get here, and now we are going to protect you even more while we beat our own people??
10. Weak Assimilation/English Requirements

The Senate approved Senator Inhofe's amendment to make English the national language and require those seeking citizenship to demonstrate English proficiency and understanding of U.S. History. However, a far weaker amendment by Sen. Salazar gutted the Inhofe amendment, leaving it in doubt, and also giving immigrants the right to demand the federal government communicate with them in any language they choose.

No effing way. You come here you learn the language! Someone go demand that the mexican government speak English to people immigrate there, even legally, and see the response you get. America has been called a great melting pot, that means they assimilate into the American culture, not set up something different. See the purpose of a melting pot is immigrating cultures to blend in with ours making it something stronger. Disparate cultures living in a country can cause some serious issues..go google sunni and shite muslims.

I come from real immigration background, 2 different grandparents immigrated here from another country but no one is talking about stopping LEGAL immigration but rather ILLEGAL immigration. What I can't fathom is how our politicans are trying to take the easy way out,  lets make them all legal now rather then making the hard choices to protect the validity of our laws. Sure we're a nation of immigrants but we are also a nation of laws. What message do we send out when we invalidate a law designed to protect us?
First the background on Chamberlain.

Here's what is making me ask that question.

And of course, Ahmadinejad's response is:

This really shouldn't suprise anyone with internet access and the knowledge on how to work a search engine. Ahmadinejad's a crazy mfer. See I read a lot of blogs and have heard a lot of liberals etc. talking about Bush being some sort of religous zealot and well I wanted to do some research on zealots and such stuff. Seems Ahmadinejad is a firm believer in something called the "12th Imam".


But hey, we're a country founded on freedom of religion etc. so let the guy believe what he wants right? Sure he is, but lets look at some of his other crazy ideas.

See what we have here is a failure to have brain cells communicate on this continent. This man is Hitler in a turban, but instead of U2 boats he has or soon will nukes. He also is a believer that he can usher in the return of one of his religions prophets if he brings chaos to the world! Ya know, we here tolerate alot of crazy people, and in some cases even vote them into office, but this is kind of too far for even us isn't it? Let's be realistic, all this guy has to do to start a massive war is lob a few missles at Israel and no amount of foreign aid from us to them will stop a yiddish shitstorm of retaliation! Arabic DisneyWorld anyone? Plenty of parking on the glass parking lots! E rides come with their own hazmat suits! Perhaps this might be a good time to "ahem" dispose of some of our nuclear material, how about here? http://www.mapquest.com/maps/map.adp?address=&city=Tehran&state=&zipcode=&country=IR&location=HJNu4bQamNSjHpIEL1RsUtixZQ4q31h0R%2fz3FViyD66JFAm3cKhcJ44ChU06Qkz7HG%2bpOtPOokHEkVhDMLpOxQ%3d%3d&ambiguity=1

I think what really burns me up is that you never see the MSM talk about this guys wacky leanings or beliefs? It's all "negotiations continue with Iran" and not "The world continues therapy sessions for the wack job out in the dessert". We need to realize the oceans doesn't protect us anymore and we need to break out the STFU stick on some people. We can surely tolerate wackjobs leading countries..but cmon folks, can we tolerate them having nukes too?
23 May 2006 @ 09:46 pm
Ok, haven't really been here much so want to toss a few firebombs out there.

National Guard on the border: they should shoot anyone crossing illegally in the name of National Security. (Yeah that's right I said it, shoot them)This would do several things

1) Save the country BILLIONS in health care and welfare costs that can be redirected to citizens and legal immigrants.
Depending on where you get your figures, Illegal Immigration costs the American Taxpayer anywhere between $11 billion and $22 billion annually (CIS.org) and as high as $70 billion (Professor Donald Huddle, Rice University) (*note: these figures reflect taxes paid by Illegal Immigrants, this is a NET COST)
648 MILLION in Cali alone in 2001 alone.

WOAH 10.5 BILLION annually total in Cali!

2) More security, and when you really think about it thats the ONE thing that the gov't really should provide for all of us, not welfare/healthcare/jobs etc. but security.

In addition, the INS has failed to maintain proper contact and monitor immigrants granted visas for temporary stays.

Current illegal immigrants caught in the US need to be deported. Use Nagin's school bus system from New Orleans, god knows he won't use them even during a hurricane! IF we granted amnesty or as some call it, a guest worker program the national debt would go up alot.

In addition, these jobs would be filled by Americans looking for work if not voluntarily then take the damn bums off the street and make em pick vegatables/fruits etc in exchange for room/board. This would cut down on the homeless problem dramatically.

But but they just want a better life for them and their families, isn't that the american dream? Sure, for American's and those who come here legally. If someone broke into your house, stole your wallet, slept with your wife would you then cook him breakfast and wash his clothes for him? Of course you wouldn't. When you condone the 1st illegal act of coming over the border do you share in the blame for the 2nd/3rd/4th illegal acts they perform?

Sleazy politicians belong to both sides of the aisle.


If an elected official takes a bribe like that then I think they should do hard time (and I mean soviet gulag style time) for the betrayal of trust. This goes for Repubs and Dimmycrats too.

Foreign aid needs to stop. Period. America is the most hated country in the world (don't blame Bushie, we've been hated for a long time). So screw em, they don't get the money. We should use that money and rebuild our aging infrastructure, fund education, give every legal taxpayer in America a big fat rebate check to go spend on booze and porn. This goes for Israel too, we should stop sending them money, it's basically a bribe to stop them from paving over the muslim countries over there. I say this having family over there and in the military there. Trust me, they want nothing more then America to unleash them and let them get revenge for all the lost family/friends due to nail bombs etc.

Reintroduction of the "Speak Softly and Carry a Big Stick" policy.

America needs to STFU. All of us, we don't need to defend ourselves to the rest of the world. The simple fact that half of the world wants to immigrate here, and the other half wants us to burn is a pretty good indication of where we stand. So I say, screw em! Take away their aid, and when they rattle their sabres at us we rattle their capitals. Nothing says FU more then a MOAB. We can outproduce any 3 nations on the planet, if and when we want to. Yeah China, I'm talking to you here. Your manipulation of your currency system against world markets is one of the primary reasons you are thriving.

*steps off the soap box*
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